


Good Enough

by cosplayingfiend



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Gender-Neutral Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Langst, Low Self Esteem, M/M, and now its apparently gonna be a chaptered thing, but its really vague, im sorry i cant stop hurting my son, self deprecation, so lets see if i actually stick with it :''), theres a self harm mention, theres now also a suicide mention so beware
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-02
Updated: 2017-07-31
Packaged: 2018-09-27 23:25:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 5,578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10056791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cosplayingfiend/pseuds/cosplayingfiend
Summary: Maybe one day, things'll be different.





	1. Maybe

**Author's Note:**

> theres a brief self harm mention at the end, but its vague. if that makes you uncomfortable, then dont read the third to last and second to last sections.
> 
> this was a vent fic bc today was not really good tbh.

It was gonna be one of those days.

Lance woke up, and could feel that today was gonna be off. He tried to shrug it off as he went about his morning routine, but couldn't help it when he got to the mirror.

His face was too sharp. He was getting a pimple, one that went against the rest of his smooth (covered in acne scars and disgusting) face.

He shook his head, and went about his morning face washing ritual as normal.

 

* * *

 

It happened again when the team was training.

Lance had gone up against the Gladiator, and had finally - _finally_ \- gotten past Level 3.

He had turned to see what the team thought, the words "Did ya see that?!" on the tip of his tongue.

But, they were all more focused on taking a water break. They were chatting amongst themselves - Shiro and Keith close and seemingly discussing strategy, and Hunk and Pidge goofing off and poking each other.

His shoulders went from pulled back and proud to slumped and dejected.

He wasn't doing this right. He needed to be better. He needed to be able to get his team's attention.

 

* * *

 

Dinner felt awkward to the Blue Paladin, but it seemed no one else felt that way.

Everyone talked as normal, and laughed here and there. Lance, all the while, was unusually quiet, and scooted his chair out from the table without a word.

He left quietly, a pained look on his face as he walked back to his room.

 

* * *

 

His room was filled with silence as he prepared for bed earlier than normal.

His normal clothes went into a neat folded pile near his bed on the floor before they were replaced with soft, light blue sweatpants and a dark blue t-shirt.

The nightly face routine was ignored in favor of going to bed sooner, but when Lance found himself in front of the mirror again, he couldn't help but look.

His arms were too thin. He was too lanky. His hair was too long. He was too bony and weak.

His gaze drifted to his arms, and moreso his wrists.

Damage had been done over the years, and just because he was in deep space, it didn't mean he wasn't still affected by his demons.

 

* * *

 

Maybe one day he'll be good enough.


	2. One Day Closer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It seems that One Day for Lance is nearing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TheBluePaladin - thanks for gettin me to do this :P

It had been about a week since Lance's 'Day of Suck' as he called it.

 

Well, to himself that is. Seeing as how no one had noticed his struggles that day, Lance resorted to calling it what it was in his head - a really sucky day.

 

* * *

 

Lance woke up once again, blinking open his eyes blearily as he smacked his lips open and closed. Ugh, he felt grosser than usual.

 

"Come on, not again. Why can't I just have one good day?!" He said to himself, tone gruff and tired of the way life treated him.

 

Another groan, another insult towards himself, another hatred for his own existence - the Day of Suck was repeating.

 

But, it seemed that this time, things would go differently.

 

* * *

 

Keith felt his eyebrows crease together as Lance walked into the dining area. Something was . . . off. The Blue Paladin had his head down, and his face was set with a harsh line instead of his usual smile.

 

That didn't seem right whatsoever. If anything, it made Keith's chest clench strangely. Lance was supposed to be happy. Smiling. Cheerful. Flirty.

 

Now, don't get Keith wrong. He knew even the happiest people had their off days, and that no one could always be happy and perfect. But, he had noticed Lance in this same kind of attitude a few weeks ago. It had confused him then too, but to see it repeating itself - that's when the Red Paladin knew something was up.

 

* * *

 

Breakfast was as awkward feeling for Lance as that one dinner had been, but something was different now. And that something was one Keith Kogane.

 

Said Keith Kogane would not stop glancing at him for the entire meal, and it was making Lance both nervous and frustrated.

 

What was the guy's _deal_?! Did he have something on his face? God, he knew that pimple was too noticeable to hide. Or maybe it was his hair? Oh _hell no_ he was not gonna let it get long enough to become a mullet. _Shit_ , he's gonna have to cut it soon.

 

* * *

 

 After breakfast, Keith made it his mission of the day to seek out Lance, and get him to at least tell him what was going on. It didn't feel right just letting him go like this.

 

Though, he had already done that, back on the first day he had seen him like this. Maybe that's why it seemed Lance was avoiding him now.

 

He had been looking for the damn guy for about an hour now, and had gone to everyone to see where Lance could be, but everyone had either seemed to not care, or they didn't have any idea where he could be.

 

So, Keith did what he does best. He went solo, and went straight to Lance's room, knocking with a heavy hand on the metal door.

 

* * *

 

 

A knock at his door surprised the Cuban. Was someone actually . . . checking in on him?

 

Who the hell was caring??

 

Grunting as he unraveled his blanket cocoon, Lance made his way to his door, and opened it.

 

" . . . What the hell are you doing here."

 

* * *

 

 

Well, it was a start.

 

"I just wanted to see how you were doing, that too much?" Keith quipped back, his blood simmering at how hostile Lance had sounded. All he was doing was checking in on him, was it really that bad of a thing to do?

 

"You looked really down at breakfast today, and a few weeks ago you did too. I just - I dunno, okay?" He began to feel nervous and began to be hostile himself as he realized what he was doing. He was trying to be kind to the guy who pushed the fact that he hated him in his face at every opportunity. He shouldn't care.

 

But he does.

 

* * *

 

 

"U-Um. That's - that's, uh, really nice of you." Lance choked out, shock obvious on his face. He coughed to try to hide his blush, but it did little to help.

 

Dear sweet Jesus and all Space Gods. Someone - _the_ Keith Kogane - was worried about someone as stupid and worthless as Lance.

 

Who woulda thought.

 

"Yea, I'll be fine. Just . . . just some stuff. That's all. But thanks for caring, Mullethead." He said softly, saying the nickname almost endearingly before letting the door close again. But not before he smiled shyly at the other - a real genuine smile, the first one in a long while.

 

* * *

 

 

That smile did funny things to Keith's stomach as he stood on the other side of the now closed door. And the Red Paladin wasn't sure what to make of it, so he made his way back to his room quietly.

 

His dreams that night were graced with a small quirky grin, one end of the tanned skin higher than the other, before being hidden by a sliding gray metal mass.

 

* * *

 

 

Lance was having a similar dilemma, but more to the extent of 'holy shit someone cares'.

 

Maybe his One Day will actually come. His One Day where he can be deemed Good Enough.


	3. So Close, Yet So Far

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And he was doing so well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ah yes, something i havent touched in a month :'') 
> 
> sorry about that! but im super busy with school, and procrastination is the name of the game i wish i could drop kick
> 
> anyways, welcome back to suffering.

Lance had woken up surprisingly happy the next day. It was strange for him to feel so content, and it was even stranger to think that it was all because someone cared. Who woulda thunk it, huh? But, as happy as the day had started, it seemed the universe had decided that his karma was too good, and needed to be righted.

 

Poor boy, he never saw it coming.

 

* * *

 

 

After he had woken up a bit more chipper than he had been feeling recently, Lance walked into the dining area, and gave a smile to every one sitting at the table - Allura, Shiro, and Hunk; Keith was most likely already training, and Pidge usually went to bed very early in the morning, so they were probably still sleeping - before taking a seat himself.

 

"My, what has you in such a great mood today, Lance?" Allura asked politely, his smile making her give a small one of her own.

 

"Nothin'. Just . . . I just thought of something really good last night, that's all." He replied, and then proceeded to shove food goo into his mouth just like everyone else had been.

 

* * *

 

 

Lance had retreated to his room after breakfast to work on a new facial mask he had picked up from one of the planets they had just stopped on, only to be disrupted by blaring alarms and flashing red lights in his room. He sighed, but knew what he had to do.

 

It didn't take long for him to run down the control room, change into his Paladin outfit, and then make his way to Blue. Quickly, he rushed into the awaiting lion, and sped away after everyone else.

 

"Paladins! The Galra have begun to attack a planet nearby, and the inhabitants have sent out a distress signal - be careful though. It seems that they have been improving their weapons since we last saw them!" The Princess commanded over the group comm, before signing off, and working on keeping the Castle safe.

 

The Blue Paladin swiftly made his way to the now-heated battle, and dove right in with a Cheshire grin on his face.

 

"Let's do this!"

 

* * *

 

 

Okay, so maybe charging in without finding out what the plan was from everyone else had been his first mistake.

 

He had thought it was fairly simple! Whoop some Galra ass, be praised by the people they saved, and then go back to the Castle and take a nap. That's what they usually did, anyway.

 

It seemed this was not gonna be one of those times.

 

Allura hadn't been kidding when she told them about the new weaponry - their tiny ships could make a dent in Blue now, which was very concerning.

 

But, Lance powered through as they all fought, sometimes shouting out names of their fellow Paladins to be able to team up on some of the ships when it became too much.

 

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity of never ending ships (but was really only a few hours), they had won. All the ships were either in pieces in space, or had left with their metaphorical tails between their legs.

 

Lance had whooped and hollered as the Princess told them to head in, and he felt like his day couldn't get any better.

 

It had been going so well.

 

And then it all turned to shit.

 

* * *

 

 

Keith laughed over the comm as he drifted towards the hangars in Red, a little giddy at their victory. It had been tough, but they had done it. They had survived another fight, and lived to fight another day.

 

It was worth it, though, when he thought about all of the lives they were saving, whether said lives knew it or not.

 

The Red Paladin was the second to last to the hangars, with Lance being last. He chuckled to himself as he thought about how happy the lanky teen had been when they had won. He was really glad Lance seemed more back to his old self now.

 

It may have helped a little that he felt like he was partially part of the reason, and that made his stomach do weird flips that he steadily ignored.

 

His happy reminiscing was shot down, though, as he heard a scream over the comm link.

 

_" **KEITH!** "_

 

* * *

 

 

The pain was overwhelming, yet it felt like he couldn't even feel it. Lance did feel, however, Blue shudder and groan as her metal twisted and heated up, before exploding.

 

Ion cannons with magic boost were _fucking terrible._

 

* * *

 

 

Keith had no idea what had just happened, but a sinking feeling in his gut made him feel on edge. Lance had screamed his name, and it was in pure, unadulterated fear.

 

He turned Red around, bouncing in his Captain's chair as he waited for her to turn. Damn ships made her slow, and now her damage was making his gut drop even more as the anticipation mounted.

 

His breath was sucked out of his lungs at the sight before him.

 

"No . . . " He whispered, hoping what his eyes saw was merely an illusion.

 

That the Blue Lion wasn't just drifting through space now, with a massive hole ripped through her head.

 

That he couldn't see Lance just barely in his seat, with massive globs of red forming around him and floating away in the anti-gravity.

 

That his friend didn't look at him with a sort of resignation in his eyes before going limp, and only being held down by the strap around his waist from his chair.

 

* * *

 

 

All Lance had seen was one ship that had come out of some sort of cloaking mode much like Pidge's, and he had seen that it was aimed at Keith.

 

They couldn't lose somebody as amazing as Keith. They wouldn't be able to do anything without Keith, _that's_ how important he is. But, they could do without a meager rifleman. Without a jokester who's only purpose is to make people laugh with his own pain.

 

Well, at least he got to see Keith one last time. He looked so scared, but Lance knew it was better than being dead, like Lance was gonna be.

 

Better Lance than Keith. Better the jokester than the jack of all trades.

 

It seemed he was finally gonna be Good Enough for something - to take the place of his friend and teammate in whatever Hell he was gonna end up in.


	4. Two Steps Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Why wasn't he dead yet?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> rereading this made me feel like i punched my own gut hot damn. also - so sorry for not updating! i got back from zenkaikon, and figured i should probably update this :")

Ya know, the vastness of space is quite calming when you are literally on the precipice of dying. At least, that's what Lance thought. He had just taken a shot for the someone who deserved to live, so he couldn't really complain.

He was close, vision darkening, but he wasn't down for the count yet - his visor on his helmet had come on as soon as it was introduced to the non-oxygenated space around them. He was still hanging from only his seat belt, and could feel himself getting light headed from how much blood he was losing.

Lance grinned to himself in his mind. Looks like he finally had a purpose, for once. He was Good Enough.

 

* * *

 

Keith, meanwhile, was understandably freaking the _fuck_ _out._ Lance was just floating in space, after taking a hit _for him_ and could very well be dead right now. That fact didn't sit well at all with him, and kick-started his brain to shout into the comm link "Guys! Lance needs to get into a healing pod _ASAP_ _!"_

His heart was racing so fast as he heard gasps from the rest of the paladins, and heard their scurrying back to their lions. Keith's gut dropped when he saw Hunk zoom past him, and could feel his heart crack at the larger man's loss of breath from seeing his best friend like that.

 

* * *

 

God, why wasn't he dead yet? Lance thought death would be upon him so much quicker, and not so drawn out. Seems the universe wanted to screw with him even more. Great, juusst _great._

Oh, whoa, wait what now? Lance felt his body being moved, almost sucked in, and soon felt cold, harsh metal under his body. His visor went down as it realized there was oxygen where he was, and he groaned from the pain that resonated at his body slam into what seemed to be a floor.

Wait. Floor?

Oh you've got to be kidding.

Who's saving him from his purpose? Wasn't he Good Enough??

 

* * *

 

Keith's breath was restored partially as he saw Hunk bring in Lance into his lion. He would only feel a little better when he saw his friend in a healing pod, though. So, as Hunk sped back into the hangars, Keith bounced anxiously in his seat as Red slowly made her way back. He felt bad for not being concerned about how much damage she had taken, but he was more worried over the life of his fellow teammate at the moment. Hopefully Red could understand.

 

* * *

 

Lance groaned loudly when he was bounced about with their landing, and felt like he was gonna be sick when someone - he would know these plush arms anywhere - when _Hunk_ picked him up, and started running. He could feel his wounds throbbing with each step, and he kinda just wanted it to be over with.

Why wasn't he just left to die again?

 

* * *

 

It had been an hour since Lance had gone into the healing pod. Coran had said it would take at least a day to recover, seeing as shrapnel had embedded itself into his body from the explosion of Blue.

Speaking of Blue, while Hunk was grabbing Lance and running for the pods, Shiro had gone out and hauled Blue back into the hangars. Keith felt his heart crack even more, and it felt like it was finally breaking when he saw how torn up she was. Her head was essentially non-existent, and her body was very unstable even when just standing.

Seeing in the Lance in the healing pod again brought a sickening deja vu, and with it bad memories of no sleep and worry coursing through his veins.

This time, though? It was much worse. Mainly because it was actually _because_ of Keith that this had happened.

Yesterday had been so good, for the both of them. And in merely 24 hours that was all shot down with a single blast.

 

* * *

 

The cold of the pod was not what Lance wanted to feel again. But, here he was.

Come on, universe. He was finally Good Enough!

 

Wasn't he?

 


	5. One Step Forward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance comes out of the pod, and has to face what happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey look! a new chapter! who woulda thought.
> 
> i have some major plans for this fic, and it seems its gonna be a slowburn (idk who knows at this point). all i do know is that i will be working more on this in the summer, so expect more then! :)
> 
> thank you for all the lovely support and comments you guys - they make my days :)

When the pod finally opened and released Lance from its cold embrace, he fell into another, warmer embrace. He groaned at the sudden contact, eyes scrunching closed before he saw who it was. The arms around him were strong and grounding as his body tried to absorb its warmth. 

Blinking, he opened his eyes slowly, only to find Hunk as his savior. He shot the other man a weak smirk.

"Looks like 'm fallin' for ya, huh?" He said softly, now gripping onto Hunk's solid arms. Hunk just sighed sadly, and moved to give Lance more room to get up. 

"Lance . . . what was that back there?" He asked cautiously, a hand still on the tan man's shoulder to support the other, and to ground himself. "You really scared us. We thought it was all successful, but then we heard Keith screaming into the comms, and then . . ." He took a deep breath and looked away from his best friend.

Lance, meanwhile, was shocked at this new info. Why were they scared? His brain told him that it would've been better if he had just died then and there, but the small rational part tried to reason back that they all seemed to care for his life. He shook his head - too many thoughts too soon.

"I'm fine, buddy, don't worry. Just wanted to make sure we didn't lose a valuable member of the team." He tried to tell Hunk, but Hunk just sent him a sad gaze. 

" _You are important too._ " Hunk sighed, but knew not to push it. He had learned bits and pieces about Lance's extreme insecurities, so he tried to help, but sometimes he had to realize it would take a while to pass. But this time almost cost his best friend his life, and that made him nervous of what might come.

Clearing his throat, Hunk tapped Lance on his shoulder, and lead him out of the room towards the common room, where everyone had been waiting anxiously for news about the Blue Paladin. When the duo entered the room, Shiro and Allura stood up almost immediately, and went to hug Lance. 

"Lance! What the quiznak were you thinking! You could've been seriously injured!"  Allura tutted at him as she stepped back from their group hug, a frown on her face. She had been worried sick - her Blue Paladin had been so close to death, and she didn't think she could handle losing anymore Paladins ever again. 

Said Blue Paladin just sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck, looking away to the side before actually looking at Allura. "Yea, I know, it was kinda dumb. But Keith almost got hit, and I - it was a natural reaction."

Keith's head snapped up to Lance at that. He had been sitting with Pidge when Lance had entered the room, and had held her back while their leaders went first in welcoming their Paladin back. 

He had been so anxious when Coran, after putting Lance in the pod, had stated just how close to death the tanned man had been. His friend could've  _died_ because of him. Lance could've been a dead man floating in space, all because Keith had gotten comfy. Keith didn't know what he would've done if he had lost Lance - if  _they_ had lost Lance. He couldn't be selfish about this, especially after this.

So to hear that this was a natural reaction from the man scared Keith. He appreciated the fact that Lance had saved his life - why wouldn't he be? But he strongly disliked the fact that it almost cost Lance his own instead. It just rubbed him the wrong way. 

While Keith had his moment to think about how he felt, Pidge launched themselves up, and tackle hugged their best friend. 

"Don't ever do that again, you asshole! You worried us so much . . ." They ranted into his chest, hug tight enough to make Lance lose air. 

"Yea, yea, I promise, you gremlin." He teased, rubbing the smaller person's head lightly. 

 

* * *

 

 Yawning, Lance made his way out of the common area. They had spent a good two hours hanging out as a group after he had come in, but now the fatigue of being in a pod was starting to set in. So, he had left the others to their own devices while he went off towards his room.

All the interactions made Lance realize that his friends all at least cared about his being alive. They all seemed to be shaken by thought of his possible death, which is slightly strange to him. Wouldn't they be happy to be rid of the screw-up that he was?

These kinds of thoughts were too much for his brain for the moment, the Blue Paladin groaning as his head throbbed. No more thinking - just napping.

 

* * *

 

When Lance left the room, Keith waited until everyone else was preoccupied to slip out of the room and follow after him. It wasn't difficult to guess where he was going - he had seemed dead tired. Keith felt kinda bad for possibly delaying the sleep he needed even longer, but this was a conversation that needed to happen as soon as possible.

As he reached the door of his teammate, he heard shuffling from inside. Mainly, it sounded like the shuffle of fabric, so Keith assumed he was changing. To be polite, he knocked solidly on the door.

"Lance? Can we . . . can we talk for a second?"

 

* * *

 

 

Who was knocking on his door, and why? Couldn't he just rest??

Throwing his head back dramatically, Lance walked towards his door, and slid it open, in only his fabulous 'pan pride' boxers - they had the pansexual flag's color scheme, and  picture of a pan on the right thigh.

"Whaddya wan - Keith? Uh, what're you doing here? Do you need something?" He asked, a little more alert now that he was faced with the one face he didn't want to see right now.

"I just wanted to talk. Can I, uh, come in?" Keith responded, adopting a more shy and unsure posture and mannerisms as he spoke. Huh, that's new.

"Sure, I guess." Lance shrugged his shoulders, and turned and opened the door wider for Keith to walk through into the small room. There wasn't much decoration - just some knick knacks that Lance seemed to have picked up from some of the planets that had helped. One such was a small washed-out magenta seashell laying on the desk in corner of the room, and the tanned man's jacket was hanging off of the chair.

As Keith surveyed the room, Lance plopped down onto the bed, and curled up into the sheets.

"What's up, mullet?" He asked, voice gruff as he relaxed into the sheets, and his fatigue caught up with him.

". . . Why did you do that?" Keith whispered, head down as he stood awkwardly in the middle of the room, faced towards Lance.

At this, the questioned man tensed in his covers. He didn't wanna tell him. He would just laugh, or mock him, or treat him differently. He didn't want any of that. But, at the same time, Keith seemed like he just wanted the truth. It would probably be more of a hassle and a bad situation to lie and string him along rather than just saying something from the get-go.

"Well, it's kinda a long backstory. Ya got time?" He sighed, sitting up from his comfy nest to pat the bed invitingly. Keith gulped silently before nodding and making his way over.

"If it means I will be able to understand you better, then yea."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aannndddd cliffhanger because its 2 am and i just wanna post this - sorry guys, story time will have to wait


	6. Idle Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Story time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so idk why but the last chapter posted funny so im not sure if anyone got the email of it updating? hopefully itll workout better this time :)
> 
> also theres a brief suicidal thoughts mention, so please beware ♡

Lance cleared his throat a little as he made himself comfortable. Keith did the same, though more awkwardly as this was foreign territory to him.

"So, I guess this all started when I was little," Lance breathed. "When I was younger, I used to be this sort of over-confident, 'invincible' child who could get through pretty much anything. Or, so I thought. It all changed as I went to middle school." His face fell, and he subconsciously began to rub his arm while looking away from the Red Paladin.

"I was this Cuban kid with outrageous bedhead that came to school way too happy and way too friendly. It's easy to see where I screwed up - I had too much faith in the world. So, the world decided to fucking _bite me in the ass,_ and thought it was a great idea for a gang of bullies to consider me their new plaything." A shiver ran through him as he remembered the seemingly never-ending catalog of memories attached to his childhood menaces.

"It didn't help that I was just coming out as pansexual then, either. I was just a huge conglomeration of all the possible reasons you could beat someone up for. And if you couldn't tell already, it ruined any chance of real self esteem for me back then. I tried to recover, but it happened for seven years. _Seven years, Keith._ From sixth grade, all the way to twelfth grade." Lance looked up at Keith with those words, startling the other. Blue eyes were dulled with pain, and it sent a shock of pain into Keith's heart. It shouldn't be like this. He should be bright and happy, not . . . not this.

The Blue Paladin coughed, starting to be affected by his past emotions. Shaking his head slightly, he deemed himself ready to begin again. "S-So. Yea. It was . . . it was a really rough time." He chuckled, but there was no humor. It was darker than that; it held more emotion than it let on. "That was when I started being so 'down on myself'. I went from a hero to a zero real quick, Keith."

He stayed quiet after that, but only for a short while. He broke the small silence with an empty tone. "Keith, do you know what it's like to actually _want_ to die?" This brought a silent gasp out of the Red Paladin, eyes wide and flitting over Lance as if they could see though him to be able to rid him of such thoughts. But, to answer the other's question, he shook his head, and waited for Lance to continue.

"No? Well. It feels like absolute shit. There's no way around that. You feel like all hope is lost, and that there is no way for it to get better. That death is the only way you can escape the suffering." He whispered, eyes staring at seemingly nothing as his hands began to fiddle with his wrists. Keith feared the worst, but just let the man speak.

"No one should ever have to feel like that. Especially not someone in fucking 9th grade." Lance curled in on himself now, and Keith wasn't sure of what he should do.

Hesitantly, Keith placed his hand on the bed in front of Lance. He wanted to offer comfort, but he also knew that unexpected contact could freak Lance out right now.

Lance's head raised minutely from where it was against his chest, and followed the sight of the hand to up the arm that it was attached to. When his gaze feel on Keith's soft violet eyes, his face scrunched up in emotion. He threw his entire body into Keith, and the black haired man caught him as best he could.

They ended up falling backwards onto the bed as Lance sobbed into Keith's chest, and Keith just rubbed Lance's back for what seemed like an eternity, whispering soft reassurances to the other. Eventually, Lance tired himself out, and Keith relaxed as he felt the other go limp. He deserved some sleep after the Hell he had been through.

Keith let out a soft sigh. He wished he could show Lance just how he was Good Enough. How he was Even Better than that.

But that was for a later time. For now, Keith let sleep take him too, and both Paladins rested together in one of the more relaxing rests they've had since going out into space.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for my style changing so much but woOPS ITS 1 AM AND I COULDNT CARE LESS


	7. Let's Start Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And here, we start the climb once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heh totally forgot lance wasnt wearing a shirt that entire time so lets add that in. also sorry for like maybe monthly updates - i like this story but at the same time dont? so i think ill wrap it up v soon. also im too tired to continue this rn sorry

The lights of the small room brightened as the ship began the morning cycle. They did so in a gradient fashion, intending to slowly wake up the room's occupant. As said lights brightened, Keith could feel himself wake, and squinted as the light hit his eyes. Ugh, why did lights have to be a thing?

He smacked his lips together as his brain started up, and he went to move before realizing he was stuck. Why was he stuck? What was on him?? Okay, deep breath, Kogane. Open your eyes before you freak. He opened one eye slowly, a violet eye looking down at his chest, only to find a large solid mass on him.

Brown? Wait, it was making noise. Noise? Could it be -

The mass moved, snuggling closer to Keith. Yup. His thoughts were confirmed - Lance had fallen asleep on him. Welp. This was gonna be one hell of a morning, wasn't it?

 

* * *

 

 

Lance was very warm right now. God did he love being warm. He must snuggle closer - done. Yes. Thank you, whatever he was laying on.

Wait.

What _was_ he laying on? Oh god. Oh no. What happened.

As quickly as an exhausted man could, Lance whipped off of his 'pillow', only to find Keith there. Oh. That wasn't so bad - Memories rushed back of what had led up to this. Huh. Actually, it seemed it was quite bad. Okay then.

While internally screaming his lungs out, Lance tried to keep a calm demeanor as he sat up and scooched away from Keith ever so slightly. He went to cross his arms over his chest, only to realize he had slept shirtless. On top of Keith. This morning just keeps getting better and better, doesn't it.

"U-Uh. Good morning, Keith," he stuttered out, nerves getting the best of him as he tried to remain calm. It just - it really scared him that Keith had seen him so vulnerable. Only Hunk and PIdge had really seen him like that before, so it was definitely not something he was used to.

"Yea, um. Morning, Lance." Keith responded in kind, sitting up to match Lance's position. Awkwardly, Keith looked down into his lap and fidgeted with his fingers.

Lance felt kinda bad. He had unloaded such heavy emotions and stories onto Keith last night. Keith hadn't asked for the total history of all pain in his life. He had only asked why he had done what he had. Oh shit. Did he ever actually answer him?

Thinking back on it, it seems he never did. Well then.

Keith deserved to know.

"Hey, um, Keith? Sorry, but I, uh, never answered your question last night. I probably did in some round-a-bout way, but I'm gonna give you the flat out answer just in case." He cleared his throat before continuing, somehow finding himself even more nervous now.

"So, um. With the whole wanting to die thing? These past few weeks . . . that feeling has come back. And so I was like, it would be better for you to live than it would be if I did? Like, you're more valuable to the team than I am. I'm just the seventh wheel, whereas you're pretty much the most badass space ninja ever." Lance curled up into himself as he spoke, wrapping his arms around his legs that bent to scrunch against his naked chest.

Keith was left stunned. Oh. Wow. That was, uh, sure something.

"You're not useless!" Keith blurted out, leaning forward as if to ensure his point got across. Lance just leaned slightly back in response, eyes wide in disbelief.

 What?


End file.
